This is obviously a learning process for everyone. When it comes to humor, the only thing that you can really do to become "better" at humor, or being funny, is through practice.
At the same time, there are only so many times you can say the same one-liner before it becomes repetitive, monotonous, and people begin to ignore you.
What that is to say, is that the only ways in which you can get better at "being funny" in Let's Plays or in general is through practice, and by having people watch to tell you whether or not you're actually being funny.
When you're trying to make a funny let's play, it's not so much about if YOU think you're funny (because of course you're going to think you're funny) but whether or not other people think you're funny.
So, how do you make a funny Let's play video game walkthrough? You do what I have done: make let's plays and then ask people to critique you. So please, if you would be so kind, could you watch some of my Let's Plays and critique them? Pleeeeease?
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